Alone vs. Settle


Marriage and divorce rates in the US, 1990-200...

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This morning before I went to work I had few minutes to spare with my mom and for some reason we discussed the issue of divorce.  First of all it was way to early for it,  second not enough time to go over the subject, but what striked me the most is that for my mom the word “Divorce” equals the word “Death”.  On my way to work I was thinking about her reaction and I would like to  share my thoughts with you.

My mom  is a post WWII generation child, she was raised with morals and rules, where divorce was not an option. Her mom, my grandma had an arrange marriage and lived with my grandfather all her life. My mom got married at the age of 25, which was way too late for that era and happily lived with my dad until his passing…..and now it’s my turn. I want to assure you that I am just like my mom happily married to my wonderful husband of 22 years .  The problem is that I don’t share my mom’s views on being married just because I must be married, just because I have kids and have to stay married for their sake. I don’t get it!!!!

I know the current divorce statistics and I think they are horrible: over 50% of married couples end up in divorce!!! It’s mind blowing that divorce rate is that high!!! I am all for being married, but at what cost? Yes we do need to do everything in our power to save marriages, especially when the kids are involved, we must reach out to every single source that will help us to stay happily married and I am stressing the word “HAPPILY” here,  but if nothing works why do we need to stay married and be miserable in our union? According to my mom we DO!!! No explanation!!! Why is the “wife” status so important to their generation?  Who is benefiting from an unhappy family? Not the kids-that for sure!!!

Every generation has a gap between them…. usually its the difference in appearance, maybe taste in music, art, etc…,  but its only for a short while, because sooner or later we are becoming our parents and the gap is getting smaller and smaller…. I am in my 40s now and should already see eye to eye with my mom, but  for some reason I can’t imagine being miserable or sacrifice my happiness  only for the  “wife” status….. and the question remains: is it better to be alone than to settle/suffer, or to settle/suffer than to be alone?………..


About Ariana

I came to USA about 20 years from former USSR. I am an American Citizen with a heavy Russian Accent. My two boys always make fun of my English. I love to write, I usually do it for me, but if you would like to stop and leave a comment it would be great! I ‘d love to share with you my American World with the hint of my Russian Personality.
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