I am in control, or am I?

I am not even a writer and I am already experiencing writer’s block. Since I came back from my vacation I have had no idea what to write about.  My brain is scattered all over the place and I can’t concentrate on one topic.  I’ve always been this way. Since I was a little girl, my room was never organized and my closet was a disaster. I remember my mom used to threaten me all the time. Her biggest threat was: “How are you ever going to get married, no one likes a slob”.  Well mom, you had nothing to worry about..

I am very forgetful too. People who are close to me used to say,  “How is it possible that you never lose your kids, one day you will forget them somewhere.”  To my defense I’d say to them, “My kids are making me crazy, that is why I am this way”.

I want to mention two particular situations that happened to me and then you decide if it’s my fault or not.

That particular year we had a very snowy and a very long winter. We had piles and piles of snow, which were the size of mountains… after all it is Michigan. We had been living in the United States for about a year now. After going through the necessary routine and visiting all the right departments and offices I obtained all the important documents needed in this country: SS, DL, and my first CC . Just like every American, I proudly carried  my valuable cards in my wallet and ……. of course I lost it. It happened sometime in December and six months later when all the snow finally melted I found my dear, precious wallet laying on the ground next to my apartment building.

By the time I found it I had to replace my SS, DL and CC and what a pain it was. I learned a very valuable lesson that year… well, at least I tried to learn it. The good thing was that I now had duplicates of every important document, except of course for CC.

I know I can’t blame my kids for this one, even though I really, really want to, but here is the next episode, which clearly shows the fault of my then 3 year old son .

It was a typical morning rush, of course we were late everywhere- to his daycare, to my workplace.

I needed to be on time, I desperately needed to be on-time, I was running out of excuses as to why I was always late……..

Ok, finally he was in his car seat and I am looking for my purse….. got it…..I am behind the driving wheel, we are on our way .

This time we will make it, I know we will be on time, I know we will, I can’t make up another story and another lie to my boss.

Yesssss!!! We made it.!!!

We were on time!!!

Max is with his friends and his favorite teacher and I am at my workstation, but for some reason I could not find my purse. I looked everywhere, it was nowhere to be found ….. well it does not matter. (It’s only my wallet, my cell phone, basically my whole life is in that purse, never mind that it is an expensive one too). I probably left it at home, not the first time nor the last time, what’s important is that I am ON TIME!!!!

About an hour into my work day, my boss called me into his office to let me know that there is a gentleman on the phone, who has my purse, that he found it on the road.  (I am taking this road to work every day).  I am crushed!!!!! Not relieved, that nothing Thank G-d is missing, just totally crushed!!!! My face is turning from pale white to deep purple in a matter of seconds.

Apparently instead of taking my purse into the car , I placed it on the roof of my car and just drove of with it. It flew away while I was driving……..It’s been 8 years since this incident and I still blame Max for driving me crazy that morning.

A nice gentleman not only found my purse he also brought it to me at work. (He got rewarded from my boss for his kind act).

This year an extremely awesome year and I am “in control” so to speak.

I know I will never be in control, who am I kidding. I am long way from perfection, and frankly I don’t think I will ever reach that magical place,  where everything is organized in my head and in my life….

……I started this post with the scattered mind and  I finish  it the same way. I have no closing for you, so please enjoy!

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About Ariana

I came to USA about 20 years from former USSR. I am an American Citizen with a heavy Russian Accent. My two boys always make fun of my English. I love to write, I usually do it for me, but if you would like to stop and leave a comment it would be great! I ‘d love to share with you my American World with the hint of my Russian Personality.
This entry was posted in clutter, Family, love, motherhood, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I am in control, or am I?

  1. Audrey says:

    I do remember the purse incident and what a day it was 🙂

  2. Janna says:

    You are in control!!!

  3. Amanda says:

    It’s comforting to know that somebody else has days like these as well. I think it was reading this blog that triggered me to leave my coffee on top of the car today. I kept wondering what all the brown liquid was on the windshield and then it dawned on me!!!

    By the way…the man that returned your purse is a saint!!!

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