I want whatever you want – not really.

Recently our distant friends celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows. They went to Mexico and had a beautiful, private ceremony with their seventeen year-old daughter as a flower girl, then..... just to make us all jealous they put their gorgeous pictures on Facebook. With their permission I am posting few of them.

N an d S on their 25th wedding anniversary.


Love from their daughter.

Looking through their photos I thought to myself: "what a great idea, my 25th wedding anniversary is approaching in less than 2 years, this would be a great opportunity for us to do something similar". With that in mind I went to my husband (he is a romantic in our union, not me. Afterall it was he, who surprised me on our 15th wedding anniversary with our first  trip to Paris. Later he was presented with a "Husband of the year!" award.) 

Me:  Honey, do you remember N and S? Guess what they did? They just renewed they vows for their 25th wedding anniversary. Isn't this a great idea? We could do the same!
Him:  Hmmmmm, I did not break any vows why should I renew them?
Me:  Oh, it's just an impression we don't have to renew them we can just get married again! Oh, it's so romantic and beautiful and we can go to any place on earth to do that and it will be just us and the kids, and look at their gorgeous pictures....

I managed to deliver my monologue within seconds (I did not want to lose him, being married for 23 years, I understand all about a husband's attention span:)) . The more I talked about it, the more excited I got and the less interest I saw in him. Knowing how incredibly passionate I am ( I will not mention the few broken plates during our previous misunderstandings), he said: "We are already married, we don't need to get married again. Let's think about it and check around to see if there are any other options we can explore, we have all the time in the world to plan anything we want, right!"

Me:  What do you we/you want?(sarcasm in my voice)
Him:  I want whatever you want... (very patiently)
Me:  ...but you know what I want...(eyes rolling)
Him:  Is there anything else you might want?

Clearly, our conversation wasn't going anywhere, I had nothing to do but to contact N and find out how did she do it, how did she manage to put this event together. This was her response : "Ha, ha I had to prepare him for a year and then told him that the only thing he has to do is to show up:)))"

Great news for me - I have more than a year to work on  my significant other.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


About Ariana

I came to USA about 20 years from former USSR. I am an American Citizen with a heavy Russian Accent. My two boys always make fun of my English. I love to write, I usually do it for me, but if you would like to stop and leave a comment it would be great! I ‘d love to share with you my American World with the hint of my Russian Personality.
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28 Responses to I want whatever you want – not really.

  1. This is a great reminder that although we have so much in common with the ones we love, we don’t always want the same things. We’re two different people after all! I am certainly guilty of getting caught up in my own world and forgetting that some of the more “girly” things I enjoy may not be my love’s cup of tea. He still indulges my whims from time to time 🙂

  2. Ariana,

    I am not even married yet, but I already know that I will be having this same conversation if I marry the man I am with, now. But, I think I will skip your approach (knowing my boyfriend) and just tell him when and where we are going, not ask for his permission. I’ll probably tell his mother and brother because he is on a farm and they will need to know he will be leaving briefly. But, I won’t tell him.

  3. hkleczewski says:

    I just got out of a relationship where “whatever you want” meant you better get onboard with my plan ASAP. I’m pretty sure it’s the male version of “whatever” (aka the female’s version of I’m really mad and you better fix this fast). Just keep slowly chipping away . . . I think Hawaii would be an awesome place to renew your vows.

  4. Jen says:

    Oh boy! If only we could make them do what we want…. I do hope you get your wish Ariana. A renewal of vows is a beautiful occasion!

  5. totsymae1011 says:

    So cute, this conversation between you and Hubby. And the pictures are beautiful.
    I say, the year prior to the event, you really have to beef up your game. Double what you do already and when the time comes, he won’t put up a fuss. Call him sugar, baby, honey, big daddy…you know, just lay it on him thick and he’ll melt like ice cream in your hands. 🙂

  6. Shary Hover says:

    I know it will be a wonderful event if you can get him to go along with your plan. My friend always tells me, “Find a way to make him think it’s his idea.” I haven’t figured out how to do that yet. 🙂

  7. Phil says:

    Interesting. You mention he was the Romantic one, surprising you on your 15th. I wonder if he’s appearing a bit disinterested because he’s hoping to surprise you. Although something like this defies surprises as there is a lot of planning that goes into it.

    Nothing wrong with stepping up your game, laying it on thick like Totsy suggests, because, well, as a guy, I know I sure wouldn’t mind my own wife doing that kind of stuff to me… 🙂

    Now, about those broken dishes. Passionate are we???

  8. Yes make him think it’s his idea:) You know form this movie”My big fat greek wedding” Men are the head but we are the neck that turns that head:) Just be smart and don’t push too much, that’s how I did to my hubby:). Maybe afterall he is planning something :)…

    • You know darling, you and your stunning pictures created this mess in my house. I am holding you responsible! I think we will visit Russia on our 25th wedding anniversary. Our honeymoon was in Leningrad, it would be great to go back 25 years later!

  9. Michael Ann says:

    This made me laugh! And made jealous too, of your friends. I wish you luck in convincing your hubby to do this in 2 years. I think you can do it!!

    Thank you for your nice comment on my blog about California. So you love it there too? I am excited for you that you get to visit soon. Two days is better than nothing! The Bill Maher quote is perfect!!

    • I just want you to know that I am jealous of all my old and new friends living in Cali! Beautiful state! My older son promising me, when he is old enough and reach enough he will move us to California, I am not holding my breath!

  10. Bella says:

    Ariana, something tells me your romantic husband already has something in the works! But just in case, the man needs to be slowly convinced of the importance of renewing vows. And I think another trip to Europe would make for a splendid second honeymoon! Imagine what a lovely experience for you and your significant other! 🙂 The photos of your friends are lovely!

  11. writingsprint says:

    If he really is the romantic, give him some room, stick to your wish to renew vows, and show him some of your ideas. They’ll probably start to win him over. I don’t always have the same tastes as my wife, but when I see how much something means to her, I’ll roll with it, and try to find a way to tailor my experience of it so that I like it too.

    Very best of luck!

  12. Leah says:

    Tell him you’re taking him somewhere fun (like Hawaii or Mexico) and then say, oh yea, we’re going to renew our vows. All you have to do is show up. Congrats on 23 years of marriage!

  13. Sandra says:

    First of all, love the back of N’s dress! Great pictures! As for you and your plan, keep at ‘er…although the jealous shrew in me thinks: She got to go to Paris…sheesh!
    But who am I to rain on a girl’s parade, if you can get Mexico too, go get ‘er! Any excuse to buy a new wedding dress, right!

  14. Monica says:

    This wonderful post sums up relationships in a nutshell. I love his line, about not having broken the vows so why renew them. Hah! Well, you have a refreshing style, great pix, too. I hope you get to remarry on your next anniversary. Sounds super romantic!

  15. Pingback: ….and this is how we do it. | Pearl's twirl

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