You’ve got mail or how to cure your migraine.

 I am a very loyal customer of AOL and I think I am addicted to the phrase “You’ve got mail“.   I have been with AOL from the beginning of times-or should I say email times. As soon as I open my eyes I check my inbox, just to hear the sweet words:  “You’ve got mail!”  One sunny day I woke up and I swear I heard: “You’ve got way too much mail!”  

Google Image

In the course of all these years I’ve collected over 7000 junk emails in my inbox…… not bad, right! I know some people who’ve had over 20,000. I will not name names, you know who you are! I have decided that finally the time has come to clean my inbox , but it’s so boring, so instead of cleaning it, I played with my junk.

What’s Triggering Your Migraines? The Back Room at Loehmann’s – that’s what!

or maybe: Banks Forced to Forgive Credit Card Debt! See If You Qualify for Relief! and when I checked I wasn’t qualified – migraine!

…and then I realized it’s not that, it’s this: A Power Wheelchair at little to no cost – see if you qualify – once again I wasn’t qualified – migraine!

My migraines were not going away no matter what I tried, and then I got an answer from some nice people, who sent me this:

30 lbs. Overweight? Try Sensa(R) Free! – this for sure will cure it – right? Wrong!

You know what did it for me:

 You are the Millionaire Winner We’ll Announce 5/31!

My migraine was gone in a second – I will be a millionaire soon, very, very soon!!

and I can do this: Dating News: 1 in 6 Marriages Start Online – Meet Singles Today! 

Oooops , I forgot I am already happily married……

Okay , forget dating: Blowout savings on all 2011 vehicles – great! I will buy a new car! Or even better – I will go on vacation: New Hotel Deals from $45/night! and Save $500 on 2012 Trafalgar Europe Vacations.

I got so excited fantasizing what I am going to do when I am a millionaire, that my migraine decided to come back and as soon as it did, I got this offer: 13 Ways to Relieve Chronic Pain along with this one Cindy Crawford shares her Advanced Anti-Aging Secret – hmm….how does Cindy know I am getting wrinkles – I never shared this information with her.

I am making progress-I am down to 6739 emails now.


About Ariana

I came to USA about 20 years from former USSR. I am an American Citizen with a heavy Russian Accent. My two boys always make fun of my English. I love to write, I usually do it for me, but if you would like to stop and leave a comment it would be great! I ‘d love to share with you my American World with the hint of my Russian Personality.
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4 Responses to You’ve got mail or how to cure your migraine.

  1. Shary Hover says:

    I really like my spam filter. I do have to glance at who the e-mails are from just in case a good message got sent there, but once I’ve done that, it only takes 2 clicks to delete them all. Whew! Good luck with your project and I hope your migraine gets better soon.

  2. jen says:

    I clear my spam each and every day, some of it is down right nasty. I can tell you I think I know Cindy Crawford’s anti aging secret; you know the one that keeps here from getting wrinkles…. she’s young! hee hee!

  3. OMG, this is too funny! Congrats on becoming a millionaire and I do hope you get rid of that migraine soon! lol

  4. Leah says:

    This is hilarious! Isn’t it crazy how much spam is out there? You’ve inspired me to check my junk mail box now.

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